17 March 2008

Lucky Me

I'm feeling extra generous on this very lucky day, so I'll share this little bit of embarrassment with you. Don't worry about laughing at my expense because I'm quite accustomed to it. You see, behind this glamorous exterior lies the heart of a doofus. I know it's hard to believe, but I'm really incredibly klutzy and dorky. It's a good thing my darling finds it endearing!

While I was away on vacation I spent a long day at the beach and came back to the hotel feeling grubby and starving. I thought I'd take a quick shower, then get something for supper from the restaurant downstairs, and curl up with a good book for the evening. Fresh out of the shower I thought, "Even though I don't need to I might as well dry my hair and put on some face." I walked to the elevator feeling pretty fine... hair lookin' cute, makeup on, not bad if I do say so myself.

And, then these two STUNNING women dressed to kill and with legs up to here jumped straight out of Vogue and into my elevator. I said, "WOW, you two look gorgeous!" They rolled their eyes and simpered a tiny thanks before proceeding to enjoy their reflections in the mirror a little longer. I tried chatting amicably to no avail. They still looked at me like I was dirt.

As the elevator doors opened I thought, "How sad! These poor girls are so conceited. They couldn't think higher of themselves, or lower of me..."

And then...

(Those of you who know me in person know exactly where this is going.)

I tripped.

And, not just a little stumble, but one of those carpet-burn-on-your-cheek-splayed-out-spread-eagle-on-the-ground-like-you-fell-from-a-five-story-building kind of falls. Yep. That's me. Always making a big impression.

When I finally made it to my feet I did a little ta-da curtsey for the dozen or so people in the lobby who were giving me a kind ovation and waved goodbye to the supermodels who were embarrassed to have been anyway near the disaster that is me. And I thought laughing to myself, "You know, Lord, I know You love me, but You could have made me just a tiny bit cool."

No luck there.

Anyway, YAHOO, it's Easter vacation! We had a very severe case of Spring Fever in our schoolhaus, folks. It was getting desperate. Who wants to think about algebra, or memorizing the order of the Presidents, or the history of Rome when it's so beautiful out?!

Yesterday we celebrated brother Mark's (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARKUS!), sister Lisa's (tomorrow) and Michael's (Wednesday) birthdays with a traditional Irish brunch of corned beef, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, and soda bread, with Guinness of course. And today we're headed to the LA Zoo to play!

I hope you enjoyed my story, friends, even though it may have shattered your illusions of my fabulousness. :) Happy St. Patty's Day!


Lori said...

The grace comes with the name, trust me on that! Loved it!!!

And you are far more beautiful than those two unhappy women could ever be!

I would've loved to have seen it!

kikstra said...

Oh that's funny- I feel no guilt laughing at your expense, since this type of thing has happened to me countless times- thanks for the humor on a dreary Michigan afternoon :-)

The Redman's said...

We sound like two peas in a pod... my Senior Superlative "award" in High School was Class Clutz!!!! Made my parents oh so proud!! :)


Jesi and Joe said...

Laurie, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your story! You're the best storyteller out there I think! I love it! I'm a total klutz too... I think it's a great trait! It keeps people entertained, lauging, and smiling most of the time... and isn't that what life's about??? Having fun and laughing at ourselves?! ;-)

Have fun at the zoo! Oh... and check out our blog for today's update...

Tish said...

that was so funny! thanks for sharing. i still think you're fabulous!

darci said...

hi i can't even remember how i found your blog..some other mom. :) I LOVE your story and oh i can so relate. i am so clumsy. :) thank goodness God also seems to give the really clumsy ones of us the best senses of humour, right? have a great day. :)

Danny said...

What a fabulous story! Isn't there a bible verse about how when we are restored the proud will be humbled? :) Those girls' time will come......

Thanks for the great laugh on this Monday evening.

FHL said...

Boy - I can relate to those types of moments! But look at the fun reflections they give us....someday we'll all be old, wrinkled, and with a crinkly smile and a twinkle in our eyes, we'll entertain our Grandchildren with our tales.

Thanks for the smile on this dreary rainy day :-)

Misty said...

Love the story! I laughed out loud:)

Anonymous said...

I puked on a rich kids bible during one 5th grade morning Bible class. I was dirt poor and clumsy myself. My classmates were stunned. But even though I was more well known for stuff like that, they seemed to be drawn to me more because I could laugh at myself about it later.

You seem to possess that quality too.

Found your blog through a relative's site.

Tres Nice.

Can't wait to read more!

emily said...

Oh, I love you! That made me cry. In a healthy, you are so secure in your identity in Christ that you can laugh at falling out of the elevator with two supermodels sort of way:) That is a great story!!

Hope you didn't get hurt of course:)

Ray Ortlund said...

You're just wonderful. All of us are walking around wondering when we'll be discovered to be the frauds we really are!