I'm feeling extra generous on this very lucky day, so I'll share this little bit of embarrassment with you. Don't worry about laughing at my expense because I'm quite accustomed to it. You see, behind this glamorous exterior lies the heart of a doofus. I know it's hard to believe, but I'm really incredibly klutzy and dorky. It's a good thing my darling finds it endearing!
While I was away on vacation I spent a long day at the beach and came back to the hotel feeling grubby and starving. I thought I'd take a quick shower, then get something for supper from the restaurant downstairs, and curl up with a good book for the evening. Fresh out of the shower I thought, "Even though I don't need to I might as well dry my hair and put on some face." I walked to the elevator feeling pretty fine... hair lookin' cute, makeup on, not bad if I do say so myself.
And, then these two STUNNING women dressed to kill and with legs up to here jumped straight out of Vogue and into my elevator. I said, "WOW, you two look gorgeous!" They rolled their eyes and simpered a tiny thanks before proceeding to enjoy their reflections in the mirror a little longer. I tried chatting amicably to no avail. They still looked at me like I was dirt.
As the elevator doors opened I thought, "How sad! These poor girls are so conceited. They couldn't think higher of themselves, or lower of me..."
(Those of you who know me in person know exactly where this is going.)
And, not just a little stumble, but one of those carpet-burn-on-your-cheek-splayed-out-spread-eagle-on-the-ground-like-you-fell-from-a-five-story-building kind of falls. Yep. That's me. Always making a big impression.
When I finally made it to my feet I did a little ta-da curtsey for the dozen or so people in the lobby who were giving me a kind ovation and waved goodbye to the supermodels who were embarrassed to have been anyway near the disaster that is me. And I thought laughing to myself, "You know, Lord, I know You love me, but You could have made me just a tiny bit cool."
No luck there.
Anyway, YAHOO, it's Easter vacation! We had a very severe case of Spring Fever in our schoolhaus, folks. It was getting desperate. Who wants to think about algebra, or memorizing the order of the Presidents, or the history of Rome when it's so beautiful out?!
Yesterday we celebrated brother Mark's (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARKUS!), sister Lisa's (tomorrow) and Michael's (Wednesday) birthdays with a traditional Irish brunch of corned beef, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, and soda bread, with Guinness of course. And today we're headed to the LA Zoo to play!
I hope you enjoyed my story, friends, even though it may have shattered your illusions of my fabulousness. :) Happy St. Patty's Day!
Edward John Carnell, 1919-1967
1 day ago