The N Word

You know the word.

That ugly word.

Wouldn't it be nice if "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" were actually true? But, we all know that words can make the deepest of cuts that can take years to heal.

Hearing racial epithets of any kind has always made me wince, made me recoil, made me have a hard time feeling any kind of compassion on the speaker of the offending slur. Michael and I have known a few people over the years who don't think using such terms is a big deal; they actually find it funny or somehow clever. But, it is a very big deal. Not funny.

My oh my, how much that has increased since my precious daughter, Ray Ray, entered my life and heart. When celebrity rappers or college athletes or teenagers hanging out at the movies use that word, I want to grab them by the ears and drag them to a restroom to wash their filthy mouths out! I feel that word slicing into my stomach for days afterwards.

WHEN did using that particular word become OK? And, WHY on earth is it considered cool?


It's one thing when it's done by a stranger or someone you expect ugly things from, but recently that word was used by a person I know... and love...

Honestly, my first response was not very Christ-like. Change my heart, o God!

I did refrain from sending an email with Ray Ray's beautiful photo that said "Is she a n*****"? But only barely.

I can imagine some of your comments here: This isn't the last time we'll hear the word so you have to learn to let it roll off your back. (You're right.) We can't always protect our kids from racism. (Right again.) Part of being an interracial family means having the opportunity to graciously educate those who are impolitic and in the process we give our children a valuable life tool. (Totally agree.) What would Jesus do? (Yes, I want to live that way.) Enduring sweetly through unkindness is a mark of maturity. (Enough already! I get it that I'm in the wrong here!)

So what do I want to teach my kids? After giving it some time, praying, and getting some Godly counsel we've made a decision about how we'll respond that I pray will be positive and uplifting and that I trust will bring healing to that friendship.

But, it still smarts. "Sticks and stones" my foot!

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And over all these virtues put on love,

which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Colossians 3:12-14

Remember GOD; Forget the Guilt

Last week in my small group we talked about our priorities.

Yikes! The priorities talk! Guilt! But, maybe all moms feel self-reproach for not being able to do everything, though. Maybe all mothers feel weighed down with condemnation because as more kids have been added to the family, the priority list has slowly felt like less about what is eternally valuable and more about what errands, cleaning, and schoolwork absolutely must done and what emergencies must be taken care of today. Oh, the guilt guilt guilt of it all!

"Guilt is the source of sorrows, the avenging fiend that follows us behind with whips and stings." ~ Nicholas Rowe

"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving." ~Erma Bombeck

It's no surprise what the priority list should look like.

Everybody knows what it's supposed to be, right?

It's actually pulling that off and still knocking out my own hauswife-homeschooler-and-mother-of-a-large-family to-do list that's the challenge. Somehow it feels like my things creep up the chart and God's stuff slips down.

Speaking of condemnation, I read somewhere recently that if we're not spending all day, every day in the Word that we should rethink our priorities. ACK! How disheartening! More fuel for the ol' guilt machine. As much as I would like to be a student of the Word in the original Greek and Hebrew, all day, every day, it's simply not possible for everyone, including me. I truly wish that it were.

So what does making God first and foremost look like?

Well, my Bible study beauties and I learned (again, not a new concept here) that making God our #1 priority means spending time in His presence every day. No excuses! It means giving Him Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication daily. The way to know and be close to God is to be in His Word, on my knees, Bible and notebook in hand, and with worship songs on my lips. Every day.

We talked about the concept of tithing our time to the Lord. Scripture says that a tithe (that 10% of my income -- I say of the gross, many disagree, but I won't digress on that particular polemic landmine right now) already belongs to God. It's holy, set apart, separate... meaning not mine, but His alone.

So, my time tithe, my quiet time, would also be holy, set apart, separate... meaning not my time, but His alone.

Michael and I have a devotional time with the kids every morning first thing. We pray, read the Bible, read a chapter of our book by Josh McDowell, then pray for our nephew Lincoln who has Down's Syndrome, Abby Riggs who is battling leukemia, Firewot, Abeba, and Teyiba, the three girls we're supporting in Ethiopia through World Vision, and then for our family, our church family, specific requests, praises, etc. Later, during our school day, the kids and I have individual Bible studies together.

But, this week I got busted.

None of that counts as my personal, private time with God on my face in worship. Confession: Some days, I have to say, my quiet time lasts about 5 minutes. Some days I don't even spend one minute alone. Ouch. It's high time for me to cut out whatever needs to be cut to protect that precious appointment. I need more time with the Father. BUT, hold the side order of guilt!

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." (Romans 8.1)

So, starting now I'm making God priority #1. Daily quiet time is a must. Guilt's getting flushed.

Whooeeee, what a relief! The luxury of delving into the Gospel 8 hours per day is not really an option at this time in my life, with the things that God has already called me to be and do. Being quietly alone with the Lord studying the Bible, giving him my time tithe every day is.



THANK YOU to those who've been praying for my Grandmother Ortlund this week as she's been so sick. I know she has really needed and appreciated the love, support, and supplication. As of last night she was feeling much better, getting release from the ICU hopefully today. Praise the Lord!

A Little Monday Luau

We woke up to lighting, and thunder, and rain this morning, so we had a little luau to celebrate the beautiful weather God gave us... paka ua maika'i! Here are a few photos of our hula honeys.




(By the way, those are "I used the potty" stickers on the girls, and that's a wind-up toy brain on the ground. LOL!)

So You Think You Can Dance!

That's right, we are going with the three older kids to tonight's show! We can hardly WAIT!

The New Survivor

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right...

to be called Mother!


(Thanks for this, Rox!)

Cookies from Snakebite

Jackie and his fireman hero

Snakebite decided to express his thanks to the cool firemen who took us to the hospital after his encounter with the baby rattlesnake by bringing them homemade chocolate chip cookies and singing them a song. It goes a little somethin' like this.


(to the tune of "Edelweiss")

Firemen, firemen
Thanks for saving my liiiife
Without you I'd be dead
I'll be eternally grateful

Thanks for taking me to the ER
So I would not be dead foreeever

Firemen, firemen
Thanks for saving my liiiiiife!


Man, I just love my boy, Snakebite!

Darth Vader Being a Jerk

OK, so everyone is tired of videos, but this one is a must watch. It was sent to us by Poppy. Even if you're not Star Wars crazies like us, you'll love it!

"Börk, börk, börk!"

YouTube Homeschool Songs

I think this one, in particular, is hysterical. All you homeschool families, our secret is out!

Entertaining an Angel

Almaz & Ray Ray in Ethiopia, August 2007

Have you ever met an angel?

And, I'm not talking about Earl.



Saving Grace's tobacco chewing, laid back, everyman angel is an interesting interpretation... except for the fact that he treats all religions and cults, isms and whatever else exactly the same, as if their gods are equal to and even the same as the Triune God of Holy Scripture. Yeah, just a tiny little hiccup. That's Heaven Hollywoodized.

I mean a real angel.

I have several experiences in my back pocket that I wonder about. Maybe in Heaven I'll recognize my kindergarten teacher, or the precious girl who heard me weeping in the Westmont chapel and came and prayed for me the day my mentor died. Maybe the nurse who was so kind to me when I was pregnant and very sick in the hospital afraid of losing my baby Margie was an angel in disguise. Maybe the Christian author who counselled Michael and I through a very tough season of loss of some important relationships was the real deal. That would make a lot of sense. That guy has got to be an angel! People like that make me consider the issue. The Bible says that we brush up against angels occasionally and may not even know it. So who are they?

I have some suspicions about a friend of ours.

Her name is Almaz. She was born in Ethiopia, and fled to Sudan with her brother as a pre-teen where she lived as a refugee for 5 years. She came to America, went to college and grad school and after 15 years here enjoying the blessings of being a full-fledged American, she heard the call of God to open an orphanage in Addis Ababa... which she did almost single-handedly.

She left her home, all the creature comforts, safety, and wealth of America to go back to her homeland and do what she could to help the masses of orphans there. Can you imagine doing that? It's beautiful!

She loves these tiny babies and older kids as if they were her own and works tirelessly to make sure they are nurtured, given plenty of clean water and food, clothed, educated if they're older, given medical attention, and she makes sure that they're hugged, and kissed, and loved... and she then matches these little ones with Forever Families.

Like us. Almaz held Ray Ray before we did. She held Grace, and Hope, and Caleb, and Daniel, and Miles, and Brenner, and Nina, and Ruby, and Silas, and Elijah, and Solomon, and Isaac, and Gracie, and Abraham, and so many others before their parents. She loved them before we did.

Her heart is huge. She's so passionate for Ethiopia's orphans.

This week we were enormously blessed with a visit from Almaz! Almaz, the Yateses (Almaz says "Yets"), the Paschalls ("Pssklls"), and our family (pronounced HOUSE-um with an "s" instead of a "z" she got right!) enjoyed an evening together at our home talking about Almaz's life, her work, what's going on in Ethiopia and at Hannah's Hope right now, what her vision is. It was absolutely awesome!

(Since I mentioned Almaz's beautiful Eetyopian accent I should mention that she very sweetly told me that I've been mispronouncing Ray Ray's birth name, Betelihem. Apparently, it's not Be-TELL-ee-hem, it's Bet-luh-HEEM. Nice mama, huh?)

Some of you know Almaz. Some of you have met her in Ethiopia when you were meeting your children for the first time. She tells me that she is not an angel, but I think when we get to Heaven we'll discover her secret.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing
some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Hebrews 13.2